THE ROAD TO RELATIONSHIPS

Hey, sorry i have not written in awhile, been busy and less inspiration this days. But lately something got me thinking. This guy who is liking me, was going on about love, blah blah.....and i told him something that he thought was weird. I asked him what church he attends (lol ) and where he was from.....He was shocked...I can't blame him anyways...

I told him relationships have gone beyond i love you, you have money etc. I may be wrong ohhh........But i think there are a lot of things to consider before going into a relationship.....

Anyways this is my own opinion. I rather date a guy who attends the same church as me, to save us a lot time and stress.....Am a catholic and marrying a none catholic na war...and putting a man through that kinda stress isn't fun..But if his ready, wahala no dey.

I have to date someone who is from my state or two states close to mine. I have a cousin who is from delta and went to the north to pick wife...men my uncle who is a chief said he ain't going anywhere ohhhhh.....He can't carry other chiefs from his place,load them up in a bus or car and start travelling for 10hours all in the name of marriage....lol......His son ended up breaking up with the girl...I won't lie, me i felt where my uncle was coming from.

I won't go and locate one guy that is from one far place then make his family travel 7hrs to come and marry me, then do another 7hrs back home...No na.....I rather stay close to home jor

I just feel relationships have gone past you make me laugh and i love you......I just feel we need to start putting other things into consideration, so that our future is a little stress free.

I don't see why two people should go ahead and marry when their parents are not in support of it.
I don't see why i should go ahead and marry a guy, when his mother clearly hates or dislikes me.

I can go on and on, but hey am only saying what i know..

People really shouldn't rush into relationships or marriage..If there are any issues, try and sort them 1st before going a step further...If your boyfriends mother doesn't like you from the beginning, and you try to make an effort to make her like you, and it doesn't work..Abeg move on before its too late....

Anyways everybody and their own.....Have a good weekend...

MEN AND THEIR DICKS

OK i seem to have lost touch with the way men think. I went to see a friend of mine recently and before going, we chatted via BBM and that was when the come and visit me popped up in the conversation.
And am like, come and visit you for what, he says oh just chatting,go out for dinner and drinks then come home. I said after that what next. He says nothing.
Me knowing how a guys mind works even if we just friends, I said don't start touching me at night oh...
He sends a cab to come pick me that cost £100 to just get to his place that's 1hr30mins..Me i didn't say anything oh.
To cut this story short, at night it was war, he kept touching,poking etc..Me i got upset saying what rubbish is this, am not your girlfriend, not your booty call, so what makes you think you deserve to sleep with me. When you sha sleep with me, what next. I go my way you go your way. Ha please oh....

The next day,he pays a cab that cost another £100 to take me back home. Should i feel bad that he spent £200 and didn't get anything? Me i don't oh

Got home and was telling my bro-in-law and he says am crazy, what the hell did i think was gonna happen.      

So does that mean a lady can't sleep over at a guys place without him think he must have sex, or at least try and have sex with her....Seriously!!!!!!!

I have this friend who is always wanting to sleep with every girl and yet he won't get a girlfriend. I introduced him to a friend so they can get to know themselves better, within a space of 1hr he tried sleeping with her,She got upset and refused. He calls me up again saying introduce me to someone else, me i asked what he was looking for, he said sex, i said ok go pay a prostitute, he said no,he doesn't do prostitute. Then what the hell do you want. If you damn want free sex go get yourself a bloody girlfriend.

How can a man want to sleep with a girl he doesn't have plans for..either paying or starting a relationship.

Men fear God ohh.....................

Don't let you dicks put you into trouble

Sleeping with a guy on a first date or 2months later doesn't make any difference, but as a man you should have self control, try and get to know a woman a bit more before getting your dick out. It won't hurt you know, you can't bang for 1week straight, it might just last 5mins and then what???????

They say women are loose but the men who sleep with this women are called what???

Answer: MEN!!!!!! so they think its cool and is allowed.

100%

In bed with my laptop, sneezing and coughing, with swollen eyes. Terrible flu, but hey that can't stop me from writing.

Someone posted a picture with some writing in this group am in on my blackberry messenger. It says ''sometimes you meet a person and you just click-you're comfortable with them, and you don't have to pretend to be anyone or anything''

Men this had a lot of argument, comments. Some said oh bearing it all isn't good, you need to pretend and let the person find out stuff as time goes on, Others said yah i agree being yourself is the best. Moi was among the ones who agreed ohh..Trust me

One of the hardest thing in my social life is starting a new relationship, its so damn hard to understand someone or getting someone to understand you. Sometimes you have to explain why you do this and do that, why am like this, why am not like that...etc..Its scary to me.

So i always end up back or sticking around my ex's even thou there's no future for us,but then i don't have to explain myself to them cos they know me already.

When you hear this couple have only known each other for just 3 months and they are married...I wonder!!!!
It's either they are 100% comfortable with each others excesses or they bloody well don't know what they getting into.

I believe in 100% not 99.9%. Couples have to be 100% comfortable with each other. Be able to put up with each others bad habits, moods etc.

Am one of the most impatient people i know, so me settling for 99% in a man, my habits will drive that man crazy.

One of my sister's hubby, when he eats i swear i just wanna kill him, or hit him with something..He chews so loud, burps so loud. But my sister doesn't mind. That's a man who has found his 100%.

I have horrible habits and only 100% man can put up with it. I love to call my bad habits ''multi tasking''...When i use the toilet i spend tops an hour there just chilling..I take my food,drink and book to the toilet and have a poo....Only 100% man will think its gross, get use to it but still love me.

I have dated guys who can't smell my cheesy feet, doesn't mean they are bad guys ohh, but i like a man who won't mind smelling my cheesy feet.
Have dated guys who don't do public display of affection, doesn't mean they are bad, but i like a man who will kiss moi in public.
Have dated guys who will tell me off for burping in public(sometimes we can't control it na after loads of fizzy drinks), doesn't mean his bad, but me i like the one who will smile and say gross and laugh.
I know couples who can't fart in front of each other, I know couples who can't share the bathroom and toilet at the same time.

Anyways let me not expose dirty self too much. The truth is we all have bad habits, loads of mood swings, loads of up and down and we owe it to ourselves to be with someone who will get whats going on, who will stand up for you when others judge.

Finding someone who can get why you do the things you do is rare, settling for 50% or 99.9% isn't wrong as long as the thought of killing him or her doesn't cross your mind when they are being themselves but you see it as disgusting.
Settling for 50% or 99.9% isn't wrong as long as you remember you plan on spending the next 100yrs (hopefully) with them so you have to hear and see them do this things everyday and still love them.

SELLING YOURSELF SHORT.

Went out last night, still suffering from a hangover, so i hope am not gonna type to much.

As a woman, you must love yourself 1st, before you can beloved or give out love. 1st rule.

As a woman don't settle for less in any situation. We all deserve the best, even if some of us never get the best,we still deserve it.

This is how i understand creation, God made woman from man...He took out ribs from man and created woman..So its only normal that man look after his rib, rather than the rib looking after itself...

I use to have friends who had swollen faces every other day from better beating from there bf, and the next day you see them together again. I called one and said wait ohh, is it that you enjoy the beating, or you think you deserve the beating or you think you can't get a man that won't beat you, or you think its a normal thing and all our bf beats us too..Me i honestly don't get.

I tell my friends if i have had good and better in a guy, I should be looking for best now, not going back to good because everyone feels i should settle.

In relationships its all about giving and receiving for me, most women will disagree with me when ever i talk about money in relationship. I don't expect a man to pay my every bill, but i need to know that he can pay for it.
 People say only your hubby or father should pay for things for you..REALLY?????

I have friends who need to pay there rent, or pay one bill or the other, they go around asking for loans, worrying sick and at night you will go and meet your bf, gist, talk, laugh, sleep etc and your problem is still there...REALLY is that a relationship.

I have had times when am dead broke, salary is still far and i need to buy my travel card for the week, i will call all my sisters to lend me money, call my friends to lend me money and am in a proper relationship, i tell myself if asking my bf to pay will make the world end,let it end..as long as i get to work the next day.

Being in a relationship is like marriage, the difference is your not legally bonded. You cook for him, clean for him, take care of him, etc Only kids you haven't given him...

Like i said relationship is both giving and receiving. What works for me won't work for you and what works for you won't work me.
In a relationship if i see a nice shirt and it will suit my bf, i will buy for him.
If i get a deal for two to go to a restaurant, i will buy and take my man out.
If i like a perfume and it smells nice, i will buy for my man.
If i go see him and his house lacks food stuff, i go to the supermarket and buy all the food he needs.
If he his broke, I lend him money.
I take him to the cinema, to go have pizza, to go have a drink on my bill.

Then i expect my man to pay for my bills, because that's the kind of relationship i have with my man.
No one asked me to pay or do all this things, but i do it because i feel that's how a relationship should be, looking out for each other always and when you can.

I tell my friends, try what i do and believe me you won't come and borrow money from me, rather your man will give it to you naturally.

As a woman don't expect heaven if you can't give out heaven. And there are men out there who don't mind paying your bills, Who treats you like a proper woman, Who will accept your ideals no matter how silly it is.

A friend told me, don't be with a man who doesn't respect or listen to his parents or doesn't respect God.


P.S. if there's any error in my typing blame it on my hangover.

RELATIONSHIP AND MONEY

Am gonna start with a story of a couple who use to live close to ma house in Nigeria.

They are married, Have 4 kids and the wife practically feeds the family with her 'tiny' shop, Pays the kids school fees, Buys there clothes, She cooks from things from her shop to feed the family.....Ok am sure u get the point.

One morning we heard screaming and shouting, We all came, Wondering what was going on.

The woman and her husband were fighting about sex..The husband said ohhhh my wife has refused to let me DO, every night na war, I have to beg and beg, for what, Didn't i pay her bride price.....HA we all said, One person asked, Madam why na, She looked at everybody and smiled.

Ask my husband when last he gave me money, Ask my husband when last he gave me money to cook, Ask my husband when last he paid the kids school fees, Ask my husband when last he gave me money to buy a dress or say take go and make your hair. And he stands here to ask for sex, Will sex put food on the table, Will sex pay school fees, Will sex clothe the kids. NO NO NO..... Only happy wives have sex, Only happy women have sex. Then she walked away.

I smiled and went into my house. I said to my mum i should feel pity for her but i don't. My mum asked why?? I said am 100% sure he didn't spend or give her money when they dated. Am 100% sure she thought it didn't mean or matter. Now your married, You expect some kinda miracle, But it doesn't work that way.

Loads of girls think asking for money from guys is a terrible thing, Guys think if ask for money, It makes us gold-diggers.You think if your partners doesn't get you gifts its ok...But its not OK.

You are in a relationship and you ask your partner for money to make your hair and he says don't you work, Didn't you just get paid....Then at night, you open your legs and allow him entry....

Because you work doesn't mean your boyfriend is free from paying your bills, Because i have a good job doesn't mean my boyfriend is free from buying me stuff.

Women please don't sell yourself short...That's my next topic

FRIENDS WITH THE EX

Why are we still friends with our ex?????? Some say its a sign of maturity, Some say oh who cares he/she isn't my enemy, Some say why not,we ended on a good ground, Some say even if He/She broke my heart i have moved on so yah we can be friends.

But is it really healthy to still be best of friends with your Ex, Especially the ones you know you still have feelings for. I mean like everyday talking, Chatting etc.

Especially when one of you has moved on and is doing so well in their new relationship...Inside you feel that should be us, Why didn't it work out, What went wrong..You torture yourself without even knowing, You then realize that you are always unhappy when ever you guys talk, But you force yourself to smile and act like your happy for him and also with your life..Now that's what i call unhealthy friendship with the Ex.....Please don't stay friends if your always feeling this way.

Now your still single, His still single and you guys are still ''acting'' like best of friends, You talk everyday, Still hangout and in your head your wondering why did we break up, Why can't we come back, Did He/She really love me, Does He/She still feel anything..Should i try and make a move, Should i try and win us back...You torture yourself again without knowing....Please don't stay friends with the Ex if you have this thoughts because they now see you as a brother or sister. Its unhealthy.

He/She is now married, But your still friends, Your always chatting and talking *thanks to social media*. The way you guys chat, You wonder where His/Her partner is and in your head you think OK maybe He/She still feels for me, But why didn't we get married, Wasn't i good enough, Does He/She have second thoughts and regret why we didn't end up together, Does He/She still think about me, Should i try and break his/her marriage.....Now that's you going crazy for still being friends with the Ex..And its sooo unhealthy.. Please look for new friends....

So many people might disagree with me and say its still Ok to be friends with your Ex, I agree with them if ;

I see any of my Ex as ewwwww, Did i really date this guy, What the hell did i find attractive, Was i so young that i was blindly in love....Now i can stay friends forever with this Ex...(LMAO)

If we had nothing in common, And always fighting and arguing and just getting on each others nerves, Yah i can try and stay friends with this Ex....hehehheee

If his mother hated me while we were dating and she's the cause of our break up..Sure i can stay friends with this Ex, Because i get a chance to torture and make fun of him for being a mummy's boy...

I could go on and on....But the truth is being friends with the Ex can make things awkward for us...We end up being different people around them, The thought of cheating on you present partner is high if your always around an Ex you still have feelings for, The thought of you becoming a bitter/jealous person is high, Blah Blah Blah.

But then If you can handle the whole situation, Fire down and keep that friendship Burning and lets hope no one gets burnt.....

LOVE AND OTHER THINGS

Finally Christmas has come and gone, We all saw a reason to drink more alcohol  and eat more than usual. I for one had too many to drink and eat that i thought i was gonna explode...But hey am still here.

Anyways a friend of mine came to me with her ''big'' problem..I call it LOVE AND OTHER THINGS.

How do you cope with the downsides of people you love. How best to deal or approach issues concerning your partner or friends.

In as much as i have a blunt tongue, I feel for people ohhh, So telling them they have this problem or that problem is hard for me and it doesn't mean am a bad friend.

OK my friend told me her boyfriend has Halitosis , Me i call am MO(mouth odour)  In case you don 't know what it means. Anyways she doesn't know how to deal with it or tell him.

While others were dishing out advice like tell him, Buy him mouth wash and toothpaste(like he didn't have or wasn't using one), Me as a ''good friend'' i tell am say, simply book an appointment with a dentist for herself, Get her BF to go with her, When she's inside she should simply tell the dentist what the problem is and get the dentist to have a look at the BF's mouth, All in the name of promo...2 for the price of 1....LMAO

Went out on a date with a guy who had BO(body odour), Omo when i perceived the 1st ''scent'' i had to take off ohh, Me that loves to cuddle, Should now do bear with me....Well yours truly sent the guy a set of body wash,shaving cream, deodorant and perfume the next day...Am such an Angel..*winks*....

Anyways my friend has to take heart for not looking and perceiving well before dating....

Still on other matters, Thanks to everyone who reads my Blog. I feel good when i check my overview and see that at least 35/30 people check my Blog every day and the emails i get as well....yah me..*dancing*

I wish you guys a Happy New Year....

BAD DATES

The whole process of chasing a woman has gone sour. This dating game has deteriorated so bad, that i wonder if anything can be done to salvage what's left.

With all the fancy Restaurants, Shopping malls, Games Center, Cinema etc, You would think some guys will be able to up there game, but for where, Some still carry this i don't care attitude around.

Back in the days guys really made an effort to purse a girl, Take her somewhere nice, Have decent conversations, Laugh with manners, Open the door when entering and leaving etc....

Then some of us girls didn't appreciate this things because we didn't know any better, Thinking its a normal thing any guy should do.

When you have been on many dates then you realize the difference in good and bad dates.

I went on a date recently and that's were all this is coming from. The guy saw it fit to take me to a pub, OK me i no complain, I tell myself say take am in good fate.

The 1st thing i noticed was him chewing gum, He didn't try to even hide it..He was chewing away like it was normal, I told myself say u don suffer, But shey the date is just starting let me give the guy a break..

Men the conversation was bloody zero, Made me drink beer(obviously that's like the only drink they sell in a  pub and he didn't think maybe i don't drink beer), People laughing out loud everywhere(shey na pub).....It was a nightmare.

Unfortunately it gets to a point were you forget about being polite and you just wanna get out of there. Had to do that, wasn't sure why i had to sit through something so painful if the guy couldn't be bother to make an effort.

Guys seriously its not that hard to make an effort to impress a girl you like na haba......Somewhere quite will definitely help, So conversation can take place, Always know what she likes 1st before taking her on a date, Try and make sure you have fresh breath that way you won't have to chew gum..lol

In fact i think am going to have to take a guy on a date and show him how i think it should be done....

Merry Christmas all.....XXX

DD.

Men and move in with me.

Been busy as hell, and have not had time to blog and blog spot has been deleting blogs lately and mine was deleted but no fear, i simply re-activated fast fast.......Anyways am back for now....

Yah Men and move in with me........Dat's all i hear this days. I wonder what happened to Marriage.
Guys are so comfortable with a girl moving in with them, in fact they hand out the offer, thinking they are doing you a favor.

Ohhh baby why are you always coming and going, why don't you move in, Its easy for you to go to work from my place, We get to spend more time together, It shows your my serious girlfriend blah blah blah.

I swear we ladies will be over the moon, chatting to other babes about how serious your bf is, how he loves you, yadi yadi yadi............

Omo na how them wan turn you to better housemaid be that......Steady sex, and free of charge too, steady cleaning, cooking, washing, cooking for him friend and cleaning after them etc.....After everything they get tired of you and dump your old ass....Kai some men shaaa

So now when i hear move in with me, I smile, shake my head and advice him to head to my village and if his looking for a housemaid then go and get one, if you need free steady sex men move far from me...simple...heheehhehee

Abeg ladies when you hear move in with me please look and think twice cos move in with me are time wasters...